Wake up at the crack of dawn with Dad. Wag wag, pant pant, air paw air paw, kiss kiss, smile smile.Go outside to sniff the world (and pee on it, too). Walk in a few circles in the backyard and wander into the woods. Disappear in trees for awhile just long enough so Dad has to put shoes on to come and get us. Wait for him to call us from outside before we come back.Inhale cookie we receive even though we didn’t come when called.Prepare for breakfast by standing 1 centimeter from Dad’s legs as he makes breakfast. Jump up and down (literally). Trip him while he is taking it to our feeding stations.Inhale breakfast.Drink half the bowl of water without wiping our mouths so we drip all over the laundry room and kitchen floors. Hear mother cursing our father for not wiping it up as she steps in the slobber-water in her socks.Prepare for cheese and crackers. Cheese and crackers are our vitamin and glucosamine pills disguised in Velveeta cheese with half a dog cookie. Boy does our Father spoil us. Stand 1 centimeter from Dad while he prepares cheese and crackers.Go back outside to sniff the world some more. Possibly go to the bathroomCome back inside and back to the water bowl. Proceed with slobber-dripping.Proceed to leather couches. Rock back and forth before jumping up – take up one couch each. Exhale loudly as we plop down.Greet Mom and big sister when they come down to leave for work. Wag, wag, pant, pant, air paw air paw, kiss kiss, smile smile.Get close-up cuddles from big sister. Breathe hot breath in her face until she says we have stinky breath. Try to tell her she does, too.Nap on leather couches.Take a morning walk with Dad. Sniff the lawn of every single house.Nap on fireplace hearth.Take an afternoon walk with Dad. Sniff the lawn of every single house. Pee on the world.Nap on leather couches.Greet Mom and sister when they get home from work. Prepare for dinner by standing 1 centimeter from Dad’s legs. Jump up and down (literally). Trip him while he is taking it to our feeding stations.Wait for humans to eat dinner. Sit 1 centimeter from dinner table for human scraps. Listen to Mom tell us to back away.Pre-clean dishes as they get put into dishwasher.Go for evening walk with the family. Poop in neighbor’s yard and kick back grass as Dad picks it up.Nap on leather couches so the humans have to rearrange themselves.Bedtime cookie.Goodnight.